KIANA STANFORD: FORGING VICTORY FROM LIFE'S BATTLEFIELD

A SOLDIER'S UNCONVENTIONAL PATH TO PURPOSE

Embarking on a military career at the age of 27 without a clear purpose appeared to be a leap into the unknown for Kiana Stanford. There was no grand plan or noble cause driving her; it was more of a spur-of-the-moment decision, a craving for change and something different. Little did she know that this decision would profoundly shape the course of her life in ways she couldn't have foreseen.

Fast forward six years, and Kiana finds herself seamlessly juggling multiple roles with the precision of a seasoned soldier. She has been deployed, faced the challenges of military life, and navigated the complexities of relationships firsthand. Meeting her ex-husband shortly after enlisting added an extra layer of complexity to her already demanding life. Suddenly, Kiana wasn't just a soldier but also a wife, navigating the intricacies of marriage amidst deployments and training exercises.

Motherhood came next, a beautiful blessing that brought both joy and added responsibilities. As a single mom raising a boy, the weight of the world often feels heavy on Kiana's shoulders. Balancing the demands of military service, single parenthood, and full-time college enrollment would be daunting for anyone, but for her, it's a daily reality. Yet, despite the challenges, Kiana is determined to rise above the statistics and defy the odds stacked against single black women.

Her journey has been marked by resilience, determination, and unwavering commitment. Every day is a battle, not just on the battlefield, but in the trenches of life. However, Kiana refuses to be defined by her circumstances. Instead, she chooses to embrace them, using them as fuel to propel her forward.

In the military, Kiana has learned the value of discipline, perseverance, and teamwork, and these lessons have served her well both on and off the battlefield. Whether she's studying late into the night, preparing for deployment, or simply striving to be the best mom she can be, Kiana approaches each task with the same level of dedication and determination.

Perhaps the greatest lesson she has learned is the importance of self-love and resilience. In a world that often seeks to tear individuals down, Kiana believes it's essential to find strength within oneself. As a single black woman in the military, she faces unique challenges and obstacles, but she refuses to let them define her. Instead, Kiana chooses to embrace her identity, her flaws, and her strengths, recognizing that they all contribute to who she is.

While her journey is far from over, and the road ahead may be long and challenging, Kiana faces it with courage, conviction, and an unwavering belief in herself. She may have joined the army without a clear reason, but she has found purpose in the journey, in the struggles, and in the victories, both big and small. Through it all, Kiana remains determined to rise above, defy the odds, and create a better future for herself and her son.

LET’S GET TO KNOW KIANA

QSM: Take us back to the day you decided to join the army at 27. What was going through your head, and what made you take that leap into the unknown? Any crazy stories or feelings from that moment?

Kiana: It was a process for sure and wasn’t an overnight activity which included but wasn’t limited to various physicals, loads of paperwork, and an eligibility test before some of those steps were even implemented. BUT, the actual day I swore in I was like “You are really taking this oath.” I was panicking and asked if I could be switched from active to reserve. I was terrified and had no idea why I was joining after refusing all my life. I know there’s a purpose, and after re-enlisting I’m still trying to figure that out. haha.

QSM: Being a soldier, mom, and student simultaneously sounds like a wild ride. Can you share a specific moment where it felt like everything was going haywire, and how did you manage to keep it together?

Kiana: I believe that I felt like everything was going haywire as a woman wearing not only the soldier hat but simultaneously carrying the title of mother and student is when my divorce was finalized. I felt the breath was being sucked from my body and I only managed to keep it together because I knew my son was watching me and I had to be strong. Being sad took my focus away from the important moments in life, I learned gratitude.

QSM: Can you share some insights into the challenges and experiences of managing both military life and relationships, especially meeting your ex-husband during that time? What valuable lessons did you learn from navigating these dynamics?

Kiana: I learned to never date Military men. I’m kidding. I rarely date these days so balancing romantic relationships isn’t hard. A lot of my relationships with friends are with other busy people so they understand as well. I throw myself into school, work, acting, and my son. I will say some lessons that I learned when courting anyone is to look into how your future partner is with their own family. It reveals a lot about how to navigate the relationship and communication between you two. Attempting to find a civilian is challenging because they don’t understand how busy/hectic military personnel schedules can get so time is very limited or lots of unpredicted travel and not for leisure with little signal for communication, so finding someone willing to conform to that lifestyle and be supportive without doubt or trust is hard and quite exhausting.

QSM: Becoming a mom is no small feat, let alone as a single parent. I am not a military mom, but I have two sons of my own. They can be a headache but joyful at the same time. Got any hilarious or heartwarming stories that capture the essence of balancing military duty and motherhood on your own?

Kiana: My son is definitely the reason behind the Tylenol bottle I keep in close proximity haha. His whole existence is just the light of my life. I don't think I have a specific moment that captures the essence of balancing both because everything he does is heartwarming or funny without him even trying. He is so understanding of my duties and the fact that I have to WORK that he lets me be, and whenever he can he wants to be up under me or reading to me, any activity that I can be a part of with him is enough in his eyes.

QSM: As a single black woman rocking it in the military, what's the most absurd or eye-roll-worthy thing you've had to deal with? And on the flip side, what's a moment that made you proud to be exactly who you are?

Kiana: It’s the military; everything is absurd, but the most is when I was told I knew what I signed up for, so me not having a babysitter is no excuse to miss training when in reality when I signed my contract I had no children. So no I didn’t know how to navigate that adjustment, especially after divorce which created a lot of extra work and paperwork for me. A proud moment is whenever I put on that uniform. It is only 1% of people that are eligible to join and serve and I am proud to be amongst them making a difference, an impact.

QSM: You mentioned the importance of self-love. Can you share a moment when you looked in the mirror, flaws and all, and thought, "Damn, I'm pretty awesome"?

Kiana: These days, everyday! Even when I don’t have it, I get it because it’s a must! I’ve been to over 13 countries (on my own, for leisure, study abroad, to recharge) alone. I am resilient and always looking to learn and grow in this thing called life, I’m pretty badass, if I can say that.

QSM: I love that! Looking ahead, what's the dream for you and your son? Any quirky or offbeat goals you're aiming for, considering your unique journey so far?

Kiana: Travel, travel, travel. I want him to experience the world as I have been learning to. Generational wealth, I want him to be book, business smart and great with financial wealth and rich in abundance, love, and knowledge. We’ve booked a paid commercial together and ever since he’s asking me when he’s going back to work, he’s 6! Our goal is homeownership and financial freedom so that we may be able to play without worrying about monetary restraint. My goal is to give him a chance to experience everything his heart desires.

QSM: What do you do for a living?

Kiana: I am a Driver in the Army, a PIP/MPC Claims Adjuster at State Farm working to move to Tech within the company, Actor, Writer, Director, and Entrepreneur. I make handmade waist beads that encourage women of all shapes and sizes to adorn their bodies. I also own a lounge line EvaLooshen that promotes remembering where we come from but don’t use it as an excuse to stay down but to evolve and grow. We are not where we came from, it's all about where we’re going. I also am in production of my podcast “On Set and Unscripted” that hosts different guests of all levels including but not limited to actors down to stylists, and crew. It’ll be a resource for those trying to break into the industry and showcase real stories of others' journeys, the good, the bad and the ugly. Providing that info that I couldn’t find when I started or was charged hundreds of dollars to learn when I could find it for free unbeknownst to me.

QSM: Do you ever get those moments when your pass creeps up and disrupts your present state? How do you handle that?

Kiana: I pray it away. It’s amazing how fast people and or things are moved from your life when you ask for God to remove what and who is not for you.

QSM: With all that you experienced, how do you manage to co-parent (or do you) without wanting to hit your ex-husband over the head with a skillet?

Kiana: Oh those moments will never go away. We co-parent great majority of the time, but we have different parenting styles so as long as we communicate and respect one another's opinions and decisions with our son’s interest at heart that’s what matters most. I don’t allow our situations to trickle down on our child because that has nothing to do with his well-being.

QSM: I certainly appreciate you for sharing your story. Please share all of your links to where people can follow your journey and support you.

Kiana: Links to all of my channels, etc., can be found on my Linktr.ee

Photo credits:

Model: Kiana Stanford

Photographer: @lionelwhytephotography

Pose Coach: @blu3modelcoachingllc