MIND YOUR BODY AND YOUR BUSINESS

With swimsuit season creeping upon us so does all that talk about getting a “beach body”. The body positive movement tells us everybody is a beach body and should be accepted as is. Great, wonderful message! However, what happens when someone decides they want to lose a little weight for their own personal reasons? Well, that’s when the ugly size of the movement quickly rears its head.

Isn’t it interesting how frequently even movements that are started with the best intent can easily and quickly turn as toxic as the very thing they were trying to prevent? Body positivity is a word that gets floated around frequently these days. It started as an effort to combat the negativity of fatphobia but has now turned into its own weird branch of shaming.

At its core body positivity is supposed promote self-acceptance. It goes off of the principle that all bodies are good bodies. Everyone deserves respect regardless of the size of their jeans. We know there’s a wide range of body shapes and sizes out there that should be acknowledged without being shamed. One of the most prevalent displays of fatphobia is the policing of larger bodies by those in slimmer bodies. Whether it be for appearances or “health”, there are always those that display their fatphobia by their inability to not comment negatively on the body of someone else.

Those instances of fatphobia, while frustrating, make sense. What doesn’t make sense is when the very people who have experienced that behavior from those in slimmer body then turn around and try to police the bodies of individuals trying to lose weight.

At the end of last year Lizzo did a juice cleanse which resulted in her losing some weight. Well, when people found out some of them lost their minds. How could Lizzo claim to have self-love and body acceptance while also trying to lose weight. There were think pieces and podcast episodes about if she could still be considered a real supporter of body positivity if she was actively trying to change her body. To all of that I say – y’all are doing too much.

First of all, Lizzo never came on the scene declaring that she wanted to be the face and voice piece of larger women everywhere. She arrived as someone who unapologetically loves herself and it was that confidence that drew many of us to her. It’s so rare that we see that level of self-love from someone in a larger body in such a public space. I frequently speak out about how much representation matters so I can understand why many people felt so connected to her. She made a lot of people who felt invisible finally feel seen for the first time. So of course, when the person who made you feel like it was okay to love yourself as is turns around and changes something about themselves it can be jarring.

However, people lose weight for all different reasons and no one can tell someone else that they shouldn’t lose weight because that’s not body positive. I see it frequently across various social media platforms. When a plus size influencer loses weight people often have something negative to say or pull their support from them. Why? Unless that individual has been negatively talking down weight loss only to do it themselves, there’s no reason their body choices should make anyone else upset. With Lizzo’s situation she wasn’t even trying to specifically lose weight. She was trying to improve the way she was feeling so she did a cleanse that obviously led to weight loss as well.

Now, I’m not sure who needs to hear this but – Lizzo is still fat. So are most of your favorite bloggers and influencers who have recently lost weight. While people are busy saying negative things about them losing weight in their comments section, they’re at home still fat wondering what the fuss is all about. I’ve never understood how someone is okay with cheering on and loving a size 18 person who’s all about body positivity. However, if a size 24 person becomes a size 18 then suddenly, she no longer deserves the support of the plus size community. Um, what? She’s STILL plus size.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder but no one told that to our joints and organs so being overweight has an impact on them. Everybody’s body is different so when and how much they’re impacted varies. Some people start to feel the physical impact 50lbs overweight and some people don’t feel a real negative impact until they’re 200lbs overweight. Why can some bodies seem to still be able to function well significantly overweight while others can’t? Who knows? More importantly, if it’s not your body, why do you care?

What matters is really supporting people when we say that we do. As much as we want influencers to be transparent, we should be honest with ourselves about why we really follow them. Is a person your favorite blogger because you truly enjoy them, their content and you care about the individual? Or, are they your favorite because you like the way they make you feel about yourself? If your answer is the later of the two choices that explains the anger when that person decides to make a physical change. However, if your answer was the first choice then wouldn’t you want someone you care about to feel a great as possible? Don’t you want them rocking their swimsuit this season in a body that makes them happiest?

Whether it be for physical or mental reasons people’s weight loss reasons are personal to them. Someone deciding to lose weight doesn’t mean they’re no longer body positive. Just as we don’t want smaller bodies telling us we need to lose weight no one larger wants to hear anyone tell them why they are wrong for wanting to lose weight. Rather than projecting our own body insecurities to others we need to be more in touch with how we are feeling and work to unpack those feelings. If we stay busy minding our own bodies and our own business then we don’t have to get in our feelings about what other people do with theirs.